From Sacrifice to Self: Embracing Personal Dreams After Military Service
At 17 years of dedicated military service, I had an eye-opening realization: I had no personal dreams, only professional military goals. This discovery was both saddening and empowering, as it highlighted a reality that many don’t realize until it slaps you in the face.
Many of you are what I call “self-sacrificers”, prioritizing your family’s, partner’s, and children’s goals and dreams, often relegating your own to an afterthought. I was a self-sacrificer too. I poured more into my work, my partner, my soldiers, and my cases than I did into myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I was successful in the military. However, I hadn’t prepared for what would happen when I no longer had the military to define me. The military became a significant part of my identity, and although it will always be a part of me, it wasn’t a culture that emphasized who you were outside of that environment.
The transition was challenging. I recently had a conversation with someone about the military transition and it can be described best by saying it’s a transition from being selfless to being selfish. Going from being a self-sacrificer to becoming self-focused. After a lot of self-reflection and focus, I can confidently say I now know who I am, and my goals and dreams are plentiful.
I’m here to share this journey with you and to show you what’s possible after walking away from something that has defined you for so long. It’s time to realize that you no longer have to sacrifice your dreams and goals for others. You can prioritize yourself and your greatness.
My aim is to assist you in these three things and provide you two tips per.. so here we go!
Rediscover Your Identity: Explore who you are beyond your roles and responsibilities.
a) Engage in Self-Reflection: Take time to journal or meditate on your thoughts and feelings. Reflect on your past experiences, values, and interests that aren't tied to your professional or familial roles. Ask yourself questions like, "What activities make me lose track of time?" or "What did I love doing as a child?" This process can help you uncover passions and aspects of your identity that may have been overshadowed.
b) Experiment with New Activities: Try new hobbies or activities that interest you but are outside your usual routine. Whether it's taking a painting class, joining a book club, or learning a new language, engaging in different experiences can help you discover new facets of yourself and reconnect with forgotten passions.
Prioritize Personal Goals: Learn to place your dreams and aspirations at the forefront.
a) Set Clear, Specific Goals: Identify what you truly want to achieve in various areas of your life, such as career, health, relationships, and personal growth. Write down specific, measurable goals and create a timeline for achieving them. Breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps can make them feel more attainable and keep you motivated. Remember: Focus on the first step not the whole staircase.
b) Create a Personal Action Plan: Develop a plan that outlines the steps needed to achieve your personal goals. Allocate time in your daily or weekly schedule dedicated solely to working on these goals. Treat this time as non-negotiable, just as you would for any other important commitment. Regularly review and adjust your plan to stay on track and adapt to any changes.
Embrace Your Greatness: Recognize and nurture the greatness within you.
a) Celebrate Your Achievements: Regularly acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Keep a journal where you write down your accomplishments, how it made you feel and the positive feedback you receive. Reflecting on these moments can boost your confidence and remind you of what you're capable of.
b) Surround Yourself with Positive Influences: Connect with people who uplift and inspire you. Look for mentors, join supportive communities, and build relationships with those who encourage you to pursue your passions and recognize your worth. Positive reinforcement from others can reinforce your belief in your own greatness and motivate you to keep striving for your goals.
Through mentorship and shared experiences, I hope to guide you in discovering your purpose, fearlessly embracing your identity, and building success in the areas that matter most to YOU.
So, who’s ready for greatness? Let’s embark on this journey together and unlock the unlimited potential within.
